What are Family Roles?
Today we’re going to be talking about a very important topic: What are Family Roles?
A definition for Family Roles that's super fitting is: the recurrent patterns of behavior by which individuals fulfill family functions and needs.
So, if you break it down, every person in a family plays a role. Now, it's quite possible for someone in a family to carry 1 or more roles - it all depends on how they act within the family.
In total, there are 5 roles:
-the enabler,
-the hero,
-the scapegoat,
-the lost child, and
-the mascot.
The Enabler takes care of others’ needs and emotions and problem-solves for others in the family. They might have difficulty with conflict and take on the role of rescuer in the name of helping others. It's important to note here that taking on the rescuer role is often to meet his/her own needs, like relieving anxiety, worry, or fear. This person doesn’t realize that sometimes helping hurts. He/she also lives with a lot of guilt and finds it challenging to focus on them self.
The Hero can be the “good” and “responsible” child. This person is a high achiever, carries the pride of the family, and can overcompensate to avoid looking or feeling inadequate. He/she is often a good leader and organizer, and is goal-oriented and self-disciplined. Sometimes the hero lacks the ability to play, relax, follow others, or even allow others to be right.
The Scapegoat is the person the other family members feel needs the most help. Usually this is the family member in need of treatment or in treatment. This person often shows the obvious symptoms of the family being unable to work through problems. The person may have strengths such as a sense of humor, a greater level of honesty, and the willingness to be close to his/her feelings. Yet there can also be an inappropriate expression of feelings, and the person may experience social or emotional problems.
The Lost Child is the subservient good child. He/she is obedient, passive, and hidden in the family trauma. He/she stays hidden to avoid being a problem. Generally, this person is flexible and easygoing. However, he/she lacks direction, is fearful in making decisions, and follows without questioning.
And lastly, The Mascot is a role often taken by the youngest child. The family tries to protect this member from the reality of issues within the group. they tend to use humor to offset the family conflict and to create a sense that things are okay. This person has a talent to readily lighten the moment but he/she hides their true feelings.
It’s important to know about these family roles so that you can make sense of what you see within your family and within your relationships.
Next week, we will talk about codependency and how to practice healthy detachment in your relationships. These additional topics will tie in to knowing how to manage different family relationships, and more importantly, how you want to communicate within these relationships. Talk soon!
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